So this would be my first blog ever :) I'm not really the writer type so some of you may wonder why am I here writing a blog. Well, one reason is because I'm bored. And primarily because I want to let loose some emotions that I'm currently trying to suppress right now.
Boredom....
The thing is, I have so many things to do. Paper work, laboratory work, all for my thesis. I'm supposed to graduate this October. But... tsk... I don't know I really don't have the drive to start on my thesis. I have a thesis topic but I can't seem to properly arrange my scientific thoughts properly right now (now means "this semester"). *sigh I actually am not happy with what I am doing right now. We just had 4 days off from school (long weekend yeyyyy!) but all I did was stay OL in Facebook and play FB games and chat with people :| I really hate myself! I need someone to bump me on the head right now. My mom kept asking me about the progress of my thesis. sheesh, every time she asks me that, I always feel awful. I felt like I'm letting my family down. :( Every time I think about that, I'd be like - Hey I've got to work my ass off now!- which always ends as thoughts. No action. Damn. Last semester, I'm very much motivated. I'm among those in my class who finished pre-thesis early. I'm just so inspired to work hard so I could graduate now. I don't know what happened after that. Well, somehow I know I really am distracted...
Distraction...
I met a guy online. I KNOW LAME! hahahaha :)) I know this is stupid, and if you're wondering, I'm no NBSB, I've been in relationships before. Serious relationships. So this actually came as a shock for me. You know, to develop feelings for this dude :)) hahahaha Okay, so this guy lives like on the total opposite side of the Earth for me. He's from US, I'm from Philippines. DAMN. 12 hour difference. DAMN. hahaha it's funny how we are very similar. His personality is just like mine. really really childish too hahaha :) it's actually freaky how we're similar in so many ways, like birthday, number of past relationship, fave book, fave movies :)) i know it's really stupid. I kept saying to myself how stupid it really is. how stupid I am. But I don't know, my feeling's not cooperating. I'm falling for him, and I'm falling hard. He actually told me how much he feels for me. *sigh so how could this actually work if he's oceans and mountains away from me? Well, I'm planning to take masters degree in US sooooo :D hahaha I hope we could really make it. <3
Knowing that I want to go to US so bad because of him and one way for me to actually do so is to take my MS there, I'm still confused why I'm not motivated to graduate this semester. Why oh why? :(
*sigh it's really awful that I can't discuss this to anyone, not even to my best friends. :(
anyway, I'll write again next time for updates regarding my thesis and my lovelife :P
